The Performance Trap… Freedom From Unrealistic Expectations

“For am I now trying to win the favor of people, or God? Or am I striving to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a slave of Christ.”  Galatians 1:10 HCSB

I just read this verse again, and boy, is it humbling!  Perhaps you can identify with this, but for most of my ministry, I carried a very quiet and relentless pressure… the feeling that I had to please everybody in the congregation!  Of course, I would not have said that out loud for anyone to hear, but I certainly felt the pressure to please everyone.  The members of the church want sermons to be engaging, strong leadership, availability with little notice, and fast and flawless decision-making.  The staff expected clear vision and calming guidance.  My family deserved me to be present with them both physically and emotionally.  I was spinning so many plates in the air until one day they all came crashing down!  And when that happened, I was broken by feelings of guilt and self-doubt.  

This pressure leaders feel is often referred to as “The Performance Trap.”  It is a subtle yet real belief that our worth as ministers depends on our performance or on how pleased others are with us.  It most often begins with a heartfelt desire to serve the Lord and others faithfully, but if we are not careful, it can develop into a cycle of striving and exhaustion.  You prepare to preach and teach to inspire, but you are fearful of disappointing.  You counsel others with compassion, but constantly worry about what you said to them.  You are thoughtful and prayerful as you make decisions, but have anxiety about possible criticism.

The performance trap is a miserable place to be!  In my life, it robbed me of enjoying the freedom that comes in serving Christ.  Paul reminds us in Galatians 1:10 that ministry isn’t about seeking and finding the approval of humans, but it’s about being faithful and devoted in our service to God.  Whenever our identity rests in the approval of God rather than the applause of men, we can then experience a life-changing peace.  As Jesus was teaching His disciples, He never told them to meet the expectations of others; He simply instructed them to obey Him.  And here is something that blows my mind to think about: “even Jesus disappointed people.”  The crowds wanted Him to lead a political revolution, the Pharisees wanted Him to comply with their ways and teachings, and the disciples at times simply wanted comfort.  But Jesus stayed focused and devoted Himself to carrying out His Father’s will.  

I realize it is difficult to let go of unrealistic expectations, but it begins by simply naming them.  Take a moment right now and ask yourself the following questions: “What impossible standards have you set for yourself?” “Who are you afraid to disappoint?”  Let me just say, it is liberating to realize you do not have to please and satisfy every single voice around you, but you can focus on honoring the ONE VOICE that matters most.  Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still and know that I am God.”  What is stillness?  It isn’t inactivity, but it is the spiritual discipline of releasing control and reminding yourself that God truly runs the ministry.

Points to Ponder

·      Stress will certainly multiply whenever ministry becomes more about performance than

obedience.

·      You cannot be everyone’s favorite pastor or ministry leader, but you can be a faithful one.

·      Take some time to identify where people pleasing and perfectionism have slowly crept

into your heart and mind.

·      Finally, ask the Lord to help you find peace and rest in His approval alone.

Here is the bottom line: when you serve from identity instead of for identity, the ministry you serve will become less about proving yourself and more about pointing others to Jesus... and that, my friends, is where peace in ministry begins.

Blessings,

Will

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